Feeling Blue

Okay, I have to admit, I usually try to post on here just about cute things that my kids do and the positive aspects of my family. But, my heart is so heavy right now and I figured you know what...life isn't always rosy and unfortunately this is a part of my life right now. I can't just bury my head in the sand and act as if I'm not hurt and affected by this. So, if it makes me feel better to get it off my chest, then it's what I have to do.

I guess I will never understand how you can claim to care so deeply about a friend for years and spend a lot of time with them to just suddenly discard them and then claim "I'm just so busy" and "friendships are like seasons". I know that people get busy and that we tend to migrate toward those who are in our circles (kids schools, sports, etc...) But, I feel that if someone is important to you, then you make the time somehow someway. Even if it's one day a month on the calendar for coffee or whatever. I know I'm not the first person that my friend has done this to, but I really truly believed in my heart that we had a bond and a connection. I mean, to not even answer when you call or even call you back for days on end and sometimes not ever, and then get exasperated when you tell them that you miss them and want to get together soon. How dare I!! What kind of friend does that to you. Recently I was dealing with something and reached out to her for a shoulder and advice and you know what? She didn't have the time for me or just didn't care. It just hurts, bottom line.

My mom, who is my biggest fan and also my biggest critic (when I need it) cannot even understand it. She just said that people change and obviously she has. I still care deeply about her, don't get me wrong, but I have learned a valuable lesson by all of this. I'm not saying that she wasn't worthy of my trust at the time because she was, but I just wish I could turn off my feelings as easily as she can. Due to circumstances, we will be around eachother but I just need to find a way to deal with all of this so I don't put myself in this position again. I hope she finds a friend who she connects with like I thought we did.

On a lighter note, AJ was singing the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" today and his version was "Binty Binty Pider Bounce the Bounce". I was soooo cute :) He is growing up so much and is learning something new every day. I cannot believe that he'll be 3 in a couple of months. ~sigh~ my baby is growing up.